This morning, for the first time since Magnus was born, I cried. I think it finally just hit me how terrifying it is that his surgery is going to happen either tomorrow or Wednesday.
I was telling one of the doctors this week that at the height of my labor pains, I had the urge to pull out my pitocin IV and just run away! And I kind of feel the same way now. I know it would be deadly for him, but a part of me just wants to go to the hospital, pull out all those monitors and lines and run away with my sweet boy and hug him. He seems so healthy and happy now, and I know he will be weaker after surgery. And I don't know how much weaker and for how long.
I know it has to happen. And the sooner it happens, the better it will ultimately be for him. But I still just want to run away with him and keep him like he is now forever.
5 months ago